Roadblocks

Stop Pushing!

Hello Beautiful.

Have you noticed that when you PUSH, the universe pushes back?
Have you noticed that when you FORCE, you get resistance?
Have you noticed that when you stress, and storm, lash out and fight, you get more conflict?

And have you also noticed ...

That when you relax, everyone around you relaxes.
That when you trust, things tend to line up for you.
And when you feel open, optimistic and grateful, life gets easier.

The secret to life, is that you are the creator of your experience. Life is always an echo of who you are being in the world. You may wonder "why" you are experiencing chaos, confusion, or upset, or "why" you are experiencing abundance, prosperity and joy. It isn't luck and happenstance. YOU are the why.

Understanding cause and effect is critical to your success. You always want to be on the cause side of the equation. And you ARE always on the cause side of the equation. The "effects" show up as results and circumstances.

Thinking of yourself on the effect side of the equation puts you in a powerless position. It's also incorrect. The "effects" are the result of who you are being in the world (thoughts, feelings actions). What you put out there, you get back. Always.

Think constructive thoughts. Be mindful of your energy. Believe in yourself. Think the best of others. Trust your path. Relax into it. Get into flow. Stop resisting. And enjoy your life. It is after all a brilliant life.

Be Blessed! (Because you are), xx

Don’t Spend Time with These

Hello Beautiful.

The older I get the more discriminating I get with my time and the people I associate with. I respect all persons right to be who they are, but I have become choosy with whom I spend high quality time with.
This is for two reasons:

  1. Life is short, and I want to feel good. People affect how I feel. So I do not risk my joy by hanging around those who suck the life out of the room. Do you know what I mean?
  2. I am influenced (and so are most of us), by the thoughts and behaviors of others. So I choose to surround myself with people who make me better. By better, I mean feel better, think better, and choose better.

Give yourself permission to do the same. Ignore anyone who threatens your well being. Do not try to prove, convince, change, or defend. Life is too short to waste your energy on this type of transaction. It's okay for others to be different in their moods and viewpoints, let people be. Instead, invest your time with people who understand you, support you, lift you, cheer you, encourage you, and grow you.

You have one life. This is it. Lock arms with those who've got your back.

To your amazing success, xx

Never Step Back

Hello Beautiful.

You've heard the expression: Two steps forward, one step back. The inference being that progress is not always a steady advance, and one must expect setbacks as part of the journey. I don't disagree. However, I'm going to change the script for you this year to this: NEVER STEP BACK.

When you step out into faith - when you take action - and you get a response which unsettles you (because fear or self-doubt surfaces for you), RESIST the urge to retreat to safety. Do NOT pull back. Hold the line if you must, but whatever you do, do NOT withdraw.

Stand still, take a deep breath, seek wisdom, get advice, re-strategize, pause for a moment, and re-work your plan. But do not let fear or a lack of know-how cause you to retreat. That is a mistake. This is the moment that your faith is tested. And this is exactly when you KEEP THE FAITH.

This start - stop - retreat cycle is simply a lack of confidence. Lack of confidence is okay, because when you are doing something you have never done before, confidence is never going to be your fuel - DESIRE is your fuel. Confidence does not come until AFTER you have made progress, so don't expect it in advance. When you are experiencing high self-doubt, let your conviction, commitment, and burning desire pull you through. Figure it out!

Someone wise once said, the purpose of obstacles was to show you how bad you want something. Truth. You will be tested, so expect it.

An obstacle can appear in the form of bad news, a lack of response (crickets), a closed door, a "no", a blocked path, and very often it shows up as CRITICISM. Well guess what? Your dream belongs to YOU, no one else, and conforming to the expectations of every person who has something to say will kill your dream. Don't allow that to happen.

What you want is available to you. But you must prove it by how you respond to setbacks. When that happens, simply remind yourself of WHY you are doing what you are doing - and WHY this is so important to you. Adjust the sails and KEEP GOING.

2018 Strong, xx

Disappointing Others

Hello Beautiful.

There is a certain degree of selfishness which happens on the way to "dreams come true". Because there is a single-mindedness about creating a life of meaning, which is solely centered around one's own passion and calling.

On this road of fulfillment, as we anticipate obstacles like fear, self-doubt, and l'il ol' me syndrome, we rarely stop to anticipate the NUMBER ONE obstacle for everyone. Namely ... the wants and needs of every person who matters to you.

Which by the way, are most certainly going to be in opposition to your own. Enter: inner turmoil, angst, restless nights.

What do you do when your personal desires conflict with those you hold dearest? Do you risk disappointment? Them? Or you?

It's amazing what some people will do to avoid hurting and disappointing others. But I want you to understand that the only way to make a difference in the lives of others, is to first make a difference in your own.

Read that again.

Don't be surprised when others try to reel you back in. Or make more demands or you. Or test you with guilt. People have difficulty letting go of "how they like you". The worst thing you can do is give in. Because it creates mixed messages and teaches others to doubt you.

Instead, be honest and direct and hold steadfast to your highest needs. You have the right to want what you want. Especially if what you want holds your happiness.
Today be true to you. And let everyone else who doesn't get it, "get over it". If they love you, they will.

To your amazing success, xx

Be Stronger than your Best Excuse

Hello Beautiful.

This week as I was cleaning my office I came across a love note I wrote to myself last year. I entitled it "My Kindness Plan", meaning my own kindness to myself. On it was a list of 10 daily commitments to my growth, wellness and well being. One of the items really jumped out at me - mainly because I was NOT doing it.

Instantly I got a case of the guilts. I don't think there is anything worse than not keeping a promise to yourself. It signals a lack of self-love; and I am all about self-love.

Predictably the (it's not my fault) excuses surfaced:

  • I moved and had forgotten about the note
  • I was busy traveling and work travel is hard
  • I had other priorities I was juggling
  • I am good in so many other areas
  • blah blah blah

Here's the thing .. EVEN THE BEST EXCUSE DOESN'T FEEL AS GOOD AS SUCCESS. No excuse was ever going to feel as good to me as actually keeping my commitment. That's really the bottom line for me. So I dusted off all my excuses... and I did the thing.

I wish I could tell you it felt good. It didn't. I hated it as I was doing it. BUT, and this is the important part ... on the tail end of it I said to myself: that was really good for me.

Nothing feels as good as keeping your commitment. Especially when the commitment is to yourself.

To Your Amazing Success, xx

 

Things Get Worse Before They Get Better

Hello Beautiful.

There is a truism in life: things always get worse before they get better. Whenever you make a stand for your life and decide to let something go that not longer fits you (a failed relationship, an ill-fitting job or business, a geographical change), you enter the place between where you were and where you want to be. And in this place of transition, things are unsettled. Routines are disturbed. Familiarity is gone. And life as you knew it disappears.

There is a certain panic that sets in as you realize that you cannot go back to your comfort (even in misery there is a certain level of comfort), and the new realm you are entering does not yet fit you since you have not yet grown completely into it. So things are bumpy and challenging and difficult and ... well... sucky.

So what typically happens in the phase is that we get emotionally off kilter. We breakdown, we cry, we scream, we lament, we fight, we blame, we panic, and we lash out. All of this is symptomatic of the transition we are in. What's worse is that this is when ALL the bad news of your life surfaces. Why? Because this is the process of "break down" (meaning you are breaking down one level of your life to prepare for the next).

Nobody goes from comfort to breakthrough. The process is comfort - breakdown - breakthrough. Always. For everyone.

The key to navigating this with success is very simple ... JUST KEEP MOVING FORWARD. These transitional periods do not last long. And on the other side of this chaos, is exactly what you hope to find. Standing on the other side of this experience you will absolutely declare "that was so worth it". Because it is.

To Your Amazing Success, xx

 

Are You in Contradiction?

Hello Beautiful

Today I want to talk to you about contradictions, and how imperative they are to your success plan. Whenever you have an idea and a desire for something you would like to manifest in your life, and you cannot get progress, there are 3 possibilities:

1. You don't have a strong enough passion for it (it's more of a wish than a calling)
2. You really really want it but your fear looms large and interferes
3. You have an internal contradiction between what you really want, and a belief which is beneath the surface.

For example, you think you want something, but you also have a simultaneous belief "well that's going to create problems for me over here". Or "if I do this, then I will have to let go of that." Or "there is gonna be a heavy price for this, am I really up for this?"

These are the contradictions which halt your progress, and they are all internally generated. As you've heard me say, you are the creator of your experience and that includes your success. The Universe and all that is takes all of its cues from you and will line up behind you as soon as YOU commit.

If you really really want what you say you want, pay VERY close attention to all of the contradictions you send yourself. Bring them to light, challenge them, then make a decision. Forward or backward. You have all the power.

To your amazing success, xx