Women have such a complicated relationship with confidence. On one hand we are told to be strong, brave, authentic, and powerful. On the other, we have this tremendous need to be liked and included. So how are we to reconcile the strength of our authenticity and not giving a damn, against our desire for acceptance? I think it's one of our biggest life dilemmas.
Here's what I had to learn: it is no one's purpose in life to like me, except mine.
Even the most "likeable" among us will have detractors who for one reason or another will never respond to us positively. All this means is that we are not in vibration with that person. We do not have resonance with them.
That's not a bad thing. People who do not understand each other - who come from different perspectives and experiences are unlikely going to find a kindred spirit with each other. Only birds of a feather flock together.
That's understandable. That we can deal with.
What's harder to understand is when someone goes out of their way to be unkind to you. Or speak unkindly about you. Especially when you did nothing to deserve it. Ouch.
Know this: when someone is triggered by you (or their idea of you), it has nothing to do with you. And everything to do with their own "stuff". You were just the lucky person who surfaced it.
Thoughts and judgments about others are always a reflection of the person doing the thinking and the judging.
Our job is to let it roll off. Let them attend to their own stuff. Right? But more likely what happens when we are "rejected", it surfaces our abandonment issues. Our issue to be liked. Our issue to be good enough. Our issue to do things right and perfect. Our issue to be people pleasers.
Oh yeah that.
That's what you must safeguard yourself against. If it surfaces you release it. (What about their approval matters to much to you?)
Release every urge to allow this sting to surface the judge in YOU. No judgment for yourself, and none for them either.
Your job is to be true to you. And to like who you are. And let everyone else off the hook.
We can't reach everyone. We can't please everyone. And what's more ... we were never designed to.
Stand strong and proud in who you are. Cuz who you are is WONDERFUL.
To your amazing success, xx