Call Yourself Out With This Q

Hello Beautiful.

I read the most striking truism today: we attract what we feel worthy of. It made me examine my own life and decisions for evidence of "truthiness". (If that's not a word, it should be lol). The evidence was plentiful.

We are always attracting opportunities, but we only say "yes" to those which we feel worthy of. In other words, we shy away from things when we don't feel ready. (By ready, I mean feel good enough for.) That includes business opportunities, personal opportunities, even romantic partners.

We may wish for it all day long, but the test of our worthiness shows up only when we say yes.

Looking back on my own life, I can recall countless times opportunity knocked for me, almost to exact specifications of the future I'd imagined, and yet time after time I closed the door. I found excuses to say "not now".  I let my own "logic" (aka fear logic) talk me out of it. But in truth, it was the fear of not feeling ready enough, or worthy enough.

Hesitation still happens. And it will always happen - for every person on their personal path of evolution. It matters not who you are, or how big you are. The only difference being, the game is bigger and the stakes are higher. But the feeling of "am I ready for this?" is the same.

Today, when that fear pattern is in progress, here's the question I use to call out myself ..

"Would my wiser future self advise me to say yes to this?" Or, sometimes I phrase it like this: "Would my Dad, who has passed but is ever present and loving to me, advise me to say yes to this?"

Do something your future self will thank you for.

With abundance of love, xx

Be Careful of This!

Hello Beautiful.

How have you been feeling about yourself lately? Are you inspired? Or Dissatisfied? Are you energetic, or tired? Are you confident, or withdrawn? Are you peaceful, or restless? If you are not feeling as well as you would like to feel, it could be attributed to a few things:

  1. Lackluster goals which don't inspire you (or no goals whatsoever)
  2. A general sense of not being enough (like you'll never measure up)
  3. Confusion about what you should be doing with your life
  4. Fatigue from not taking care of yourself
  5. A lack of daily rituals or discipline

I know, I know .. sometimes you wonder how I know you so well 😉 Maybe it's because I've been there. Maybe it's because I've helped so many who have been there. Maybe it's because you are in really really good company ... and what you are feeling so many have felt.

Regardless, whatever you are feeling will be underscored, and reinforced, by the messages you are sending to yourself .. about yourself. Sometimes said so often that they become labels: shy, lazy, scared, unworthy, unready, slow, fat, broke, tired, sick, sad, bad mother (or father) ... the list is endless.

The problem is that all of these messages affect your self-esteem. And your self esteem dictates how worthy you feel.

You will only draw opportunities to you that you feel worthy of. You will only draw friends (and partners) to you that you feel worthy of. You will only draw material possessions that you feel worthy of receiving. So, there is a direct correlation between the circumstances in your life, and how well you feel about yourself.

There are no mysteries in life. Outer circumstances always reflect the inner you.

As you go about your life today, whether you are working, dreaming, playing, or preparing, try and pay attention to the frequency to which you label yourself. Every time you catch yourself in self-criticism, switch the thought to self-love. Start changing the messages you send to yourself. Switch up the script. Your life depends on it.

And if you want support to get your life in the direction you desire, contact me about one-on-one coaching. I can get you there.

Much love! xx

Putting Yourself First

Hello Beautiful.

Every once in a while I come across a truism that hits me square; today it was this: "Never feel guilty for doing what is best for you." Likely because feeling guilty is the hallmark of the "nice girl", as much as always putting the needs of others first. While it may seem like a beautiful characteristic, altruism comes with a deep price. Namely, we run ourselves ragged. And sometimes into the poor house.

Chances are you have been taught to always put others first. And that you should ignore your own needs while you attend to the needs of others. The problems is, neglecting yourself makes you deeply resentful. It also makes you less effective.

And this doesn't just apply to our personal relationships.

Business owners/leaders who always put the needs of our clients or staff ahead of their own suffer from the same affliction. It may seem like a good idea - after all the customer is always right - but it doesn't take long before you have a business which is running you, with clients setting your terms and conditions, and comes no where near the level of freedom and satisfaction you expect to feel. How long can a person stand the weight of that before collapse is inevitable?

I understand that all leaders are here to serve, myself included, but if I am leading you, is it not in your best interest that I come from a place of health, energy, vitality, and sanity? ☺

Look, all I am saying is, you have the right ... scratch that .... you have the obligation to attend to your needs first. And from that place you are in the right place to contribute. Think about it.

With abundance of love, xx

Stop Pushing!

Hello Beautiful.

Have you noticed that when you PUSH, the universe pushes back?
Have you noticed that when you FORCE, you get resistance?
Have you noticed that when you stress, and storm, lash out and fight, you get more conflict?

And have you also noticed ...

That when you relax, everyone around you relaxes.
That when you trust, things tend to line up for you.
And when you feel open, optimistic and grateful, life gets easier.

The secret to life, is that you are the creator of your experience. Life is always an echo of who you are being in the world. You may wonder "why" you are experiencing chaos, confusion, or upset, or "why" you are experiencing abundance, prosperity and joy. It isn't luck and happenstance. YOU are the why.

Understanding cause and effect is critical to your success. You always want to be on the cause side of the equation. And you ARE always on the cause side of the equation. The "effects" show up as results and circumstances.

Thinking of yourself on the effect side of the equation puts you in a powerless position. It's also incorrect. The "effects" are the result of who you are being in the world (thoughts, feelings actions). What you put out there, you get back. Always.

Think constructive thoughts. Be mindful of your energy. Believe in yourself. Think the best of others. Trust your path. Relax into it. Get into flow. Stop resisting. And enjoy your life. It is after all a brilliant life.

Be Blessed! (Because you are), xx

Perfect Isn’t Required

Hello Beautiful.

I woke this morning agitated with myself. Because I missed my 5 am deadline to get today's post completed.

If you know me well, you know how much this bothers me, because you know my lifelong struggle with perfectionism. Perhaps you struggle with this same affliction. So as I am beating myself up, this came to me:

Hold yourself to a standard of GRACE, not a standard of perfection.

Beautiful isn't it? When the wisdom came to me, I forgave myself and got into action.

So what does it mean to hold oneself to a standard of grace and not perfection?

It means to go through life with thoughtfulness, thankfulness, kindness, contribution, helpful attitude, poise, dignity, and forgiveness. It means do your best, and come from a good place.

It means give more than you take. It means stay strong, stay sure, and stay composed when you stumble.

And it also means, recover to the best of your ability. And get into motion, not into regret.

Do you know what? That is a beautiful standard for life. No one could ask for anything more from you.

To your amazing success, xx

 

The Promise of a New Year

Hello Beautiful.

It is great to be back with you again. The holiday break for me was both restful and productive, and I did enjoy staying in touch with so many of you over the holidays. It was wonderful to see all of your photos of fun family times as you celebrated together. Brought me joy! I am well rested and invigorated ... woot woot!

Now here we find ourselves, at the promise of a beautiful New Year, bright, shiny and happy lol. Whatever your thoughts about resolutions, there is no denying that there is an optimism that we feel in January, as we do with every new beginning. It holds a promise that fuels hope as we dust off our long held dreams and breathe new life into them.

If that is your desire, then stick with me. This year, there will be a larger focus upon action and progress in my messages. Because I happen to think that your dreams are worthy of you. So with that in mind, let me challenge you with this ...

See Everything You Do as a Stepping Stone to Greatness.

Because no measure is too small, no act is mundane or meaningless, no step too little, if we do it with the intention of GREATNESS. Everything you do is an expression of your life energy, (which btw happens to be a miracle of epic proportions), so infuse joy and energy into your action.

When you walk, infuse it with joy.

When you talk, infuse it with enthusiasm.

When you cook, infuse it with love.

When you set goals, infuse it with commitment.

When you work, infuse it with passion.

When you leap, do it with gusto.

When you fall, do it with style.

When you fail, jump up and do it better.

Commit to your best this year. And watch, oh just watch what happens! (Get excited!)

2019 Strong, xx

 

Your Three Levels of Harmony

Hello Beautiful.

How did you wake today? What thoughts occupied your mind before you rose? Were your thoughts empowered and joyful? Or were they sad, negative, or anxious? Here is why I am asking...

The way you start your day affects your entire day. It determines whether you'll see opportunities and seize them - or retreat into comfort. Whether you'll feel confident and rise, or feel defeated and hide. All from your first few minutes of wakefulness.

Today I want you to understand that everything you think and believe is experienced in your entire being - mind, body, spirit. What you know, you know on all 3 levels. What you desire, you desire on all 3 levels. What you feel, you feel on all 3 levels. That means, when you are pursuing your dreams and goals, you must have harmony on all 3 levels.

It serves you no good just to think about what you want. And not get into action.
It serves you no good to just go through the motions. And not feel it in your spirit.
It serves you no good to feel prompted by spirit, and let your mind talk you out of it.

Harmony, alignment, integration - in all 3 levels of your being. THAT'S the path of success.

To Your Amazing Success, xx

When People Don’t Like You

Hello Beautiful.

Women have such a complicated relationship with confidence. On one hand we are told to be strong, brave, authentic, and powerful. On the other, we have this tremendous need to be liked and included. So how are we to reconcile the strength of our authenticity and not giving a damn, against our desire for acceptance? I think it's one of our biggest life dilemmas.

Here's what I had to learn: it is no one's purpose in life to like me, except mine.
Even the most "likeable" among us will have detractors who for one reason or another will never respond to us positively. All this means is that we are not in vibration with that person. We do not have resonance with them.

That's not a bad thing. People who do not understand each other - who come from different perspectives and experiences are unlikely going to find a kindred spirit with each other. Only birds of a feather flock together.
That's understandable. That we can deal with.

What's harder to understand is when someone goes out of their way to be unkind to you. Or speak unkindly about you. Especially when you did nothing to deserve it. Ouch.

Know this: when someone is triggered by you (or their idea of you), it has nothing to do with you. And everything to do with their own "stuff". You were just the lucky person who surfaced it.

Thoughts and judgments about others are always a reflection of the person doing the thinking and the judging.

Our job is to let it roll off. Let them attend to their own stuff. Right? But more likely what happens when we are "rejected", it surfaces our abandonment issues. Our issue to be liked. Our issue to be good enough. Our issue to do things right and perfect. Our issue to be people pleasers.

Oh yeah that.

That's what you must safeguard yourself against. If it surfaces you release it. (What about their approval matters to much to you?)

Release every urge to allow this sting to surface the judge in YOU. No judgment for yourself, and none for them either.
Your job is to be true to you. And to like who you are. And let everyone else off the hook.

We can't reach everyone. We can't please everyone. And what's more ... we were never designed to.

Stand strong and proud in who you are. Cuz who you are is WONDERFUL.

To your amazing success, xx

Don’t Spend Time with These

Hello Beautiful.

The older I get the more discriminating I get with my time and the people I associate with. I respect all persons right to be who they are, but I have become choosy with whom I spend high quality time with.
This is for two reasons:

  1. Life is short, and I want to feel good. People affect how I feel. So I do not risk my joy by hanging around those who suck the life out of the room. Do you know what I mean?
  2. I am influenced (and so are most of us), by the thoughts and behaviors of others. So I choose to surround myself with people who make me better. By better, I mean feel better, think better, and choose better.

Give yourself permission to do the same. Ignore anyone who threatens your well being. Do not try to prove, convince, change, or defend. Life is too short to waste your energy on this type of transaction. It's okay for others to be different in their moods and viewpoints, let people be. Instead, invest your time with people who understand you, support you, lift you, cheer you, encourage you, and grow you.

You have one life. This is it. Lock arms with those who've got your back.

To your amazing success, xx

Ask Yourself This

Hello Beautiful.

I learned a phrase recently from one of my mentors: the totality of possibility. Which is the understanding that each time you drop a limitation about yourself (a judgment, a criticism, a fear) you get closer to the limitless possibility of your self-expression. In other words, what could be possible for you if you freed yourself from self-criticism?

To that end, here is a powerful question to ask yourself deb...

"What is it like to be me when I am not judging myself?"

  • When was the last time you lived a day without critiquing your body?
  • When was the last time you lived a day without critiquing your abilities?
  • When was the last time you lived a day without critiquing your choices?
  • When was the last time you lived a day without critiquing your fear?

The truth is Beautiful, as focused as we are on how others feel about us, and treat us, the true shaping power of what is possible for each of us is directed by our own self-opinion. Our focus has been in the wrong place (over there with acceptance by others), when it is YOU, and only you who creates your possibility.

Think about that for a minute.

What if today you decided to think only positive, loving thoughts about yourself? What if today you could feel self-compassion, and hold yourself in a loving embrace? What if you could dwell in possibility today because you freed yourself from your own critique?

What do you think would happen?

Today, speak and think only wonderfully about yourself. And watch what happens to possibility.

To your amazing success, xx